Over the years I’ve had the displeasure of working or should I say attending and wasting my time in a variety of government departments. One consistent experience was dealing with IT departments and IT dudes….sad common traits were observable. There was always at least one “Fat Bob in the corner” . Bob could nearly always be described as a huge fat slob with 3 days of facial hair, looks like he’d been up all night watching porn, pallid looking and always a total smart arse know it all because he’s seen it online or done it.
Fat Bob always has a desk in the corner of a room where his work station monitors can never be looked at, desk covered in crap, CD’s, USB thumb drives, coffee stains, Cat5 cables, Pepsi cans, meat pie wrappers and the obligatory headset.
Fat Bobs are programmed with a standard response on initial consultation “can’t do it because of security”. If one was ever able to proceed beyond that the next response is nearly always “you need to re boot your "computer”. The concept of even getting the fat prick out of his broken chair to your work station to make the Microsoft piece of shit work is almost unheard of but you will have to wait as fat Bob has a few pornos to get through before lunch.
It seems fat Bobs have attained power and control over everyone because holding the levers of IT is “power”, we are constantly reminded of IT policy, rules, laws, codes of conduct, pass words, user names need I go on and one has to change that shit every three months just to fuck you up.
Sometimes life was better without a computer, once upon a time you could actually pick up a phone and speak with someone or even dare I say go speak with a real human being and get something organised and done..now to do anything it seems you have to “Log a job”. Fat Fucking Bobs have won and its all because of Porn.
